THE TAX-POCALYPSE SURVIVAL GUIDE

 

Article by: Stamford Hill Accountant: MLONDI SHANDU

Statutory Registration: The Tax-Pocalypse Survival Guide

You’ve got your CIPC-registered biz, a bank account shinier than a disco ball, and a creeping dread that SARS is lurking in your DMs with a tax-shaped guillotine. Statutory Registrations are your flaming sword to keep your business legal and your vibes free. Below, we’re unleashing the registrations you need at every stage of your business cycle, with enough unhinged energy to make SARS quiver.

Income Tax: SARS, the Eternal Tax Vampire
Every business needs to register for Income Tax with SARS, or they’ll suck your bank account dry faster than you can say “audit.” If you registered your company or close corporation with CIPC, SARS auto-slaps an income tax number on you like a tax fairy godmother. But if you’re running a Trust, you gotta run yourself to eFiling (no SARS office pilgrimages in 2025) and smash out an IT77C to get that trust tax-ready. No paper, just digital sorcery.

And YOU, you glorious entrepreneur? You’re not just a bystander. You have to register as a Provisional Taxpayer). Fire up eFiling, fill out an IT77, and brace for provisional tax—your personal tax burden for raking in that sweet biz cash. Miss this, and SARS will send a tax demon to your doorstep.

Hiring Staff? Welcome to the Paperwork Thunderdome
The second you hire employees, you’re not just a boss—you’re a gladiator in the arena of bureaucratic insanity. The Basic Conditions of Employment Act is a 500-page rulebook designed to make you question your life choices, but we’re here for the tax carnage. Here’s the unhinged rundown of registrations when you bring minions onboard:

• UIF (Unemployment Insurance Fund) - Got staff working more than 24 hours a month? You’re legally obligated to register as an employer with the Department of Employment and Labour. Slam a UI-19 form into uFiling (paper forms are for dinosaurs), listing your employees and their loot. This fund’s their safety net if they get yeeted from the job.
• Compensation Commissioner (Workman’s Compensation) - EVERY business with employees—sole proprietors, corporates, your grandma’s knitting empire—needs to register with the Compensation Fund. It’s insurance for when your employee slips on a banana peel or yeets a hammer through a window. it’s always been ALL businesses not just construction companies with their hard hats. Register via the ROE portal online, no cap.
• PAYE (Pay As You Earn) - If any employee’s earning over R97,500 a year you have register for PAYE with SARS. This means you’re the tax collector, snipping a chunk of their salary for SARS before they start side-eyeing you. Do it via eFiling, or SARS will send their tax goons.
• SDL (Skills Development Levy) - If your payroll’s flexing past R500,000 a year, you’re in for SDL, a 1% tax to fund skills training (you’re basically Tony Stark building future geniuses). No separate form—it’s baked into your PAYE registration or activated later via eFiling.

VAT: The Tax Monster Under Your Bed
Your business is printing money, but instead of vibing, you’re having nightmares about VAT (Value Added Tax). Deep breaths, you only need to register if your turnover’s over R1 million a year (R83,333.33 a month). Below that? You can voluntarily register, which sounds like signing up for a tax spanking but can be a POWER MOVE. Why? You claim back input VAT on purchases, making you a tax-slaying wizard. Perfect for businesses with VAT-heavy suppliers.

The Formpocalypse: A Bureaucratic Rave
You’re thinking, “Six registrations, six forms, I’m a genius!” WRONG, YOU BEAUTIFUL FOOL! The bureaucratic overlords demand a sacrifice of FORMS, and it’s a bloodbath. Here’s the unhinged truth about the annual forms you’ll yeet into the void (corrected for 2025):

• Income Tax:
  • Businesses: ITR14 (one juicy company tax return, annually).
  • You, the provisional tax warrior: IRP6 (2–3 submissions a year, depending on your flex).
• UIF:
  • UI-19 (12 forms, one per month, via uFiling). It’s like sending SARS a monthly love letter.
• Compensation Commissioner:
  • ROE (Return of Earnings), one form, annually, via the ROE portal. Easy peasy.
• PAYE:
  • EMP201 (12 forms, one per month).
  • EMP501 (2 bi-annual reconciliations to make sure you didn’t mess up).
  • Total: 14 forms.
• SDL:
  • No extra form, it’s piggybacked on EMP201. SARS keeps it chill.
• VAT:
  • VAT201 (6 forms, one every 2 months for most small businesses). Monthly if you’re a high roller.
  Grand Total: 36+ forms a year for a basic small biz. That’s a full-on bureaucratic mosh pit! The doc’s right—it’s a LOT, but eFiling and a caffeine-fueled accountant will save your soul.

Industry-Specific Madness
Some businesses need extra registrations—think Liquor Board for your craft brewery, Health Department for your artisanal cupcake empire, or niche permits for your drone-racing startup. These are like boss battles in a video game: brutal but epic.

The Future: More Chaos Awaits
As your business grows, more statutory requirements will crawl out of the woodwork like tax-zombies. Think B-BBEE compliance, CIPC annual returns, or audits for your shady crypto side-hustle. We’ll tackle those in a future blog so unhinged it’ll make your accountant quit. Stay tuned, you maniacs!

SME.TAX: Your Tax Sidekick
At SME.TAX, we’re not just here to help you beg for finance—we’re your punk-rock crew for surviving the entrepreneurial apocalypse. From Accounting to Payroll, BEE, Consulting, Company Registration, and Mentoring, we’re your ride-or-die. Slam into www.sme.tax or scream at us on 012 021 0829. Let’s burn the bureaucracy down (legally)!